My Directorial Debut and the Shirt I Ruined Because of It.

The concept was simple: I would use the wonderful contacts that I've made throughout the past year that I've stepped back into acting to create a fun, short, quirky commercial for the Daily Gratitude Journal that I co-created with my mother. The timing was perfect, if a bit tight - there were two and a half weeks until Christmas, and we wanted people to be able to purchase the journals as gifts for the loved ones in their lives that are impossible to buy things for. I told her that I would be able to pull a commercial together over a single weekend. No problem.

The inspiration for the basic premise struck quickly, and the script itself came together not long afterwards. The story would follow our heroine as she endures a fairly terrible day, first waking late for work, then discovering the hard way that all the food in her flat has gone off, before spilling the coffee she's just purchased all over her top, and finally receiving a telling off from her boss for her tardiness and sloppy presentation. We see her later in the evening at a party, surrounded by people that are having fun whilst she, alone on the couch, looks very clearly miserable. The tone changes when a friend comes over, says hello, and hands her a gift - a Daily Gratitude Journal. Our heroine takes some time to reflect on all that's occurred in the day, and finds that, despite all the disappointments and the aggravations that she's experienced, there were still people that were kind, generous, and worth being grateful for.

Once I had the script together, I began to text virtually every person I knew about their availability to see when we might be able to shoot and how many friends could help. Fortunately, several of them were free on the date we finally settled on and two of them were lovely enough to offer their own homes as sets. I'll admit that, though I tried to recruit a large group, we did have some last-minute absentees. As a result, many of the people who featured in the commercial were my partner's siblings, which is why the cast may look...unusually similar to one another. I made a mental note following the filming to either invite more reliable people or to only invite half as many family members, should I undertake another project like this in future. Alas, there are bound to be lessons in any first attempt.

Though I was somewhat daunted by the amount of work that had to be done before the filming, I was relieved to be working with a wonderful friend and Director of Photography, Denver Dsouza. He helped me to ground all my abstract concepts in real, organised shot lists, and was on call for all of my emergencies and quick Plan B's, C's, and D's. He suggested alternatives when a shot I had in mind would be too complex for the limits of time and equipment that we had, but always remained aligned with my vision for the piece. I put together the call sheets and talent release forms, he gathered the kit and triple-checked the shot list, and before we knew it, the day was upon us.

The first scene we shot was the most critical of the day. We had exactly one opportunity to get it right, and no amount of rehearsal would be able to guarantee success. If we failed the first time, we would not be able to try, try again. The scene required our heroine (acted by yours truly) to spill her freshly purchased coffee down her nice, neat blouse. The reason we could only take the scene once - beyond the obvious point of continuity between coffee stains - was that I had been unable to find a second identical blouse to the one I had selected for the costume. With the filming demanding completion by the end of the day, a full costume change and filming in duplicate or triplicate with different outfits to give us the best possible shot was simply out of the question. We had one opportunity to ruin my shirt, and by God, I was going to do it perfectly.

I rehearsed the action with Teo, and we discussed the angle of the coffee cup, the point of impact between her shoulder and mine, and an environment which would merit the close passing. I cooled off the steaming cup of coffee with enough water that I wouldn't scald myself, but not so much that we would lose the rich colour. I paced. I fretted. We set the camera, agreed on the framing, and did one more rehearsal take.

I, as many people do, get nervous sometimes. I am often able to settle my nerves quickly with deep breathing and soothing mental images (little waves rolling in from the ocean and lapping gently at the shore, the leaves of a tree fluttering like paper ornaments in the breeze, clouds drifting like soft cotton across the face of the moon, etc.). Nerves strike me most frequently before interviews or situations in which I am conscious of people both perceiving me and judging my performance or ability. Strangely, this affects me very little as an actor. There is something about being able to disappear into a role that makes it feel less as though I, Violet, am being watched, and more like the character is the centre of attention.

But I have never been quite so nervous to act as the moment just before this take.

The camera was speeding.

The slate was read and the sticks were clapped.

Someone called, 'Action!'

I began my approach, staring down at my phone, oblivious to my surroundings. I could see in my periphery as Teo bore down on me; the collision course was set. I brought the cup up as though I were about to take a sip. She bumped into me. The coffee spilled. It was...nearly perfect.

Even now, I'm not certain what sort of hydrophobic technology went into that piece of fabric that caused the coffee to bead and run off the blouse as easily as water rolls off a duck. But I do know that despite the natural-looking collision and the impeccable angle of the spill, the take itself was just shy of the perfect shot that we wanted. Though some of the coffee had managed to stain the top, it was nowhere near as dramatic as I had envisioned in the drafting process (but things rarely are). Again: there are always lessons to be learned in the first attempt. It was just a shame that we didn't have the opportunity for a second.

The rest of the shoot went smoothly and was loads of fun. We had planned the day well in terms of the time we needed to allow for each scene and for the travel between locations, and all the friends that were able to help with the project brought a fantastic energy. I thanked them all profusely throughout the day, and would like to thank them again for their contribution to the shoot. The commercial could not and would not have been able to come together without each person there. A project can only ever be as good as the hands that help bring it together, and I consider myself very lucky to be surrounded by such talented, capable, loving hands. I may have ruined a blouse (albeit, poorly), but with great support from my friends, I created something to be proud of.